There are thousands upon hundreds of thousands of people, at this very moment, who are reading what Lady Gaga had for breakfast, and care how Justin Bieber combed his hair this morning. This deep, meaningful conversation is taking place in a life-changing 140 characters.

I’m writing, of course, about Twitter, and though you don’t–and probably shouldn’t–care about what Bieber or Gaga are “up to” (unless 13-year-old girls are your target demographic) these simple 140 characters can be a major boost in prospects, traffic to your site, and most importantly sales. Over the next few days we’ll be sharing a five part series on the 5 best tips we’ve got when it comes to making marketing on Twitter work for you.

Fine PRINT: this is in no way a comprehensive guide. Don’t think you’re an expert because you read this. We highly recommend that if you chose to go the DIY route, you should get your hands on at least one book, and take in as many blogs as you can handle. Remember: we love to help and we want to hear from you! Drop us a line anytime.

Tip #1 – Ignore anyone who calls himself (and occasionally herself) a Guru.

The fact is social media has been around since media existed; it has just taken on a new ADHD, hyperactive persona. These “Gurus” may try to baffle you with their BS (eh…bold statements), and seem more important or experienced than they really are. The people who really understand social media understand people. It’s as simple as that. So, if you are in business, and you are good at what you do, you most likely already have 97% of what you need. The other 3% is what I like to call the three “T’s”: Time, Tools and Tenacity. Which coincidentally are points 3,4 and 5.

Tip #2 – Invest your Time listening.

Imagine that you just happen to be dropped into the middle of a family reunion. For argument’s sake, let’s use mine; we’ve got in-laws, outlaws, cowboys, hippies, crooks, and straights; you name it. Even if you are the most outgoing, extroverted individual, it behooves you to “survey the territory”. Once you have, you would know who speaks Spanish, who doesn’t, and who does, but won’t. You’ll know when uncle Bob or aunt Bea (names changed for my own protection) has had one too many. Ok, they’ll show up with one too many, but that’s not the point. Most importantly, you’ll know the mood, the group dynamics and who are the leaders. Every group has leaders, and it’s smart to know whom they are and what have to say. Once you think you have a grip on how things work, don’t just stand there like a wallflower. Interact! It’s why you are reading this thing in the first place, isn’t it (see Tip #5)?

Tip #3 –Tools of the Trade:

Now, unless you want to, the point is not to spend every waking moment Tweeting, after all, unless your name is Justin Bieber, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, Britney Spears or Lady Gaga (what kind of name is Lady anyway?) the chances are that no one really cares what you ate for lunch and who you have a date with tonight. Go ahead and tell the world on your own time (they probably, still won’t care) but this is business, so let’s get to it.

Do use Hashtags (#) –the number or pound symbol is a way you can quickly track a conversation. For example, #marketing will show you every conversation the uses that hashtag to demarcate the content. So, if you sell widgets and thingamabobs and want to track the conversation about widgets and thingamabobs simply place a #widgetsandthingamabobs or #widgets #thingamabobs at the end of your tweet. Alternatively, you can make up something so that your fans can contribute to the conversation, say, #widg&tbobs to not waste your valuable 140 characters.

Do not try to impress with your “unparalleled knowledge and skillful mastery of the English language.” I think you get the idea. Use shorthand whenever possible (eg. U=You, 4 = for, pls =please) but be careful; your brand identity is at stake here. If you are a banker or a lawyer, it’s probably wise not to tweet: “LMAO w/ my bff, ‘cause I Do Use a Social Media Desktop Application such as Tweetdeck. You’ll save time and stay focused. Most of all, you’ll be able to manage multiple pages and accounts from one location without having to go to different websites or use your browser. Of course it is a good idea to check your social page/profile periodically to make sure your messaging is consistent and ads are content appropriate.

Don’t waste my time or insult my intelligence. If you have something to share, or ask, and you think I can derive or add value to it, go ahead, tweet away. Remember that “tweeting ‘cause you’re bored,” like “eating ‘cause you’re bored” is never a good thing. It’ll go straight your Brand’s hips!

Do retweet. Perhaps the most valuable thing you can do is to become a resource for your clients. If someone you follow tweets something that matches up with what you do and your values, “RT” it. Your followers will start to see you as someone who has the pulse of the industry and can be of service. Remember, most business minded adults use twitter as a source of information within a specific interest; give them what they want.

Don’t, I repeat, DO NOT pitch or advertize. You will loose followers, credibility and most likely gain some enemies. Yes, you will sell as a result of twitter, but selling happens as a byproduct of the relationships you build and the value you add to the conversation. Twitter users are very particular about not wanting to be “sold.” If you can’t do this, don’t tweet.

Do have fun. If this feels like a chore or you’re not genuinely interested in what you’re doing, your twitter strategy will die a cold, lonely and painful death. But don’t worry. If you’re not having fun, there are ways of getting around it (again, see tip #5).

Tip #4 –Tenacity: start a movement.

The old adage “A leader without any followers is merely taking a stroll” applies to twitter as much as it applies to life. One of the biggest mistakes that Twitter novices often make is to follow 500 people but don’t actually have any followers. Don’t misunderstand, you have to follow people, but the goal is to get followers by making yourself available and valuable. People who have the 500 to 0 ratio screams “scam artist, stay away!”

Offer value, even if that is purely linking to an article you like, and you think your followers might also like. People will follow you if they perceive you as authentic and real. A trusting relationship can’t be faked or forced.

Lastly, remember, the key is quality, not quantity, and it’s certainly not a popularity contest. It is a performance. If you reward, entertain and inspire your audience, you will attract the kind of person who values what you value, need what you have to give and want to have a conversation.

Tip #5 –DIY may not be for you.

In reality tweeting is not for everyone. Too many times we’ve seen good intentions crash and burn, leaving a slew of casualties behind. Here’s the way it usually happens: A company, typically a small company, will hear the success stories of other companies like their own and think that social media marketing is the way to go. So they get an intern to set up a few accounts and for 1 or 2 months, there is a lot of activity. They post articles, pictures, questions, etc, and they get several hundred people following or friending them. By the 3rd month however, things start getting stale as the intern has left for a study abroad program in Brazil or decided that working for free was creatively styling, so what used to be a vibrant community and active conversation is ignored and quickly dies. Their followers are left without their beloved leader and scatter, or worse they become trolls, attacking the impostor for abandoning them (true story!).

If you take away anything from this post, it’s this: Tweeting is a serious matter. You need a plan, you need enjoy it and you will need help. No matter how proficient you are there is always something new. Change is constant and quick in the online space, and to be successful you need to embrace change and commit to constantly be learning. If this is a tall order, hire someone! Not necessarily us, but someone who knows what they are doing. Even if all you hire them to do is get you started and organized (maybe even have them follow up every quarter) this will save you time, frustration, and of course money.